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Brawny invented the perfect paper towel (according to Amazon reviewers)

"This just took things to the next level." - an actual review.

Brawny Tear-A-Square Paper Towels $28.96 at Amazon

Brawny Tear-A-Square Paper Towels $28.96 at Amazon

Brawny

If cleanliness is what separates humanity from savagery, then is it not fair to say that paper towels are the foundation upon which all modernity rests? Are they not the invention that has allowed us a sum of comfort greater than any other single innovation? To err is human, but is there anything so elegantly human as the task of wiping that error (say, some spilled V8) up with a paper towel, only to swiftly deposit that error in the trash, never to be thought of again?

The answer is thus: Paper towels are the peak of luxury, and the Brawny Tear-A-Square Paper Towels ($28.96 at Amazon) are the peak of their realized potential. At least if Amazon reviewers are to be believed.

Brawny Tear-A-Square Paper Towels, Quarter Size Sheets, 16 Count of 128 Sheets Per Roll - amazon.com

28.96Shop Now

What am I talking about? These things have nearly 30,000 ratings, and a 4.8-star rating out of 5 stars. That is, for lack of a better word, completely bananas. Just read these review excerpts:

“how flippin cool is it when you can have a little square of paper towel.”

“I never knew I could love a paper towel until these showed up!

All I’ve ever needed in life… This just took things to the next level.”

“Do you want to feel like a burly, hairy chested lumberjack while cleaning up your kids spilt milk and juice? Do you want to feel your flannel shirt is bursting at the seems [sic] with your muscles as you clean your windows? Then these are the paper towels for you. Plus you can right size them for when you want to feel dainty.”

Sure, it’s possible some of these people are being “hyperbolic” or doing “bits” to “amuse” other “people” on the “internet,” but what if they’re sincere? What if these paper towels can really change your life? For less than $30, isn’t it worth it to find out and maybe, just maybe, finally answer just one of the rhetorical questions that I've been asking you for this entire article?