MIND & HEART MATTERS: Living and Labor Pains

Dear Everybody,

Yes, life is painful and difficult but if we use the pain to help us grow and rebirth ourselves it doesn’t hurt so much. So be good to yourselves and learn how to say no when that is what you are feeling about something and free yourself from the guilt you are imposing on yourself.

The other day I was running around getting myself and my wife to places where we could get some blood tests, we needed for our annual physical, but I wasn’t in the greatest mood. I was not living the sermon when Bobbie just started laughing at me and of course laughter is contagious so I joined right in. I was so impressed by how good it felt to laugh even though it didn’t solve any problems. It helped them to evaporate for a few moments while we both enjoyed the moment and had the experience of our life altered to a joyful experience. So besides saying no to what you do not want in your life say yes to laughter and having fun. Grow young along with me the best is yet to be. Forget about aging. Live with no sense of time and no schedule.

This morning, I slept late because I was very tired. When I woke up I was behind on my schedule of things I need to do. However, while walking the dogs, I sensed that schedules and time were something I was creating and I let go of them both and felt much better. When you lose track of time, because you enjoy what you are doing, or just deny its existence and so have no schedules you cannot get older because time no longer exists for you. I aint kidding it makes a big difference to your mind and body to live in that special place where time does not exist. I know we are living in a real world but your mind creates how you relate to it and are affected by the world around you.

Now I had meant to start with the following just to lighten you up but I couldn’t help but share my initial feelings. Some questions for you which will be answered at the conclusion of this column are. 1. I went into a restaurant and asked if they served crabs. The waiter said … 2. What did the volcano say to the earthquake? … 3. On what day of the year are more babies born? and 4. A dog is such a loveable creature because … . Now to return to reality from my senior moment.

I am writing this on New Year’s Eve and remember every day can begin a new year for you. It is never too late to have a new birthday and begin a new year. It’s all about what is going on inside of you and in your life. It is never too late to be born again and again and again. A new view of life provides you with new opportunities for growth. Whenever I come across the word growth I relate it in my mind to something Jungian Elida Evans wrote in a book about cancer roughly eighty years ago before all the technology interfered with our knowing our patients. She related to cancer as growth gone wrong and a message to take a new road in your life. Today more and more studies are revealing what happens within us when we are unhappy with our lives. This is not about self-guilt and blame but about being willing to become aware of your feelings and the direction your life is taking you.

What is on your mind affects your body’s chemistry and can make you vulnerable to disease. Think about my early comments about laughter and what my body experienced when I began to laugh and enjoy the moment. When you believe in yourself and your ability to overcome all the negative events, we must all face at some time; your life will change for the better. When that inner peace and faith occur, because you believe in yourself and what you can overcome, your life and body will change the experience you are living.

Your body will change because your genes will be receiving life enhancing messages from various products your body produces when it is happy and you will grow, heal and resist disease while the depressed and fearful have the opposite experience. So search for new growth in your life. Growth you can enjoy and desire to participate in. It is not about doing things wrong or avoiding death. It is about giving yourself a chance to experience a new life and see how you feel about it and what it means to you. I keep repeating that when you are hungry you don’t get depressed you seek nourishment and so do the same things when you are emotionally starved also. To repeat a portion of a Harold and Maude movie quote, “Live! Otherwise you’ve got nothing to talk about in the locker room.”

So abandon the negative aspects of your past and get moving forward. Accept your worthiness and celebrate your new life. Giving yourself a new name can also enhance the change. This is a New Year and every day is a New Day. One of the things which helps me are the many calendars I have with various inspirational daily messages and quotes. Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Write it on your heart that every day is the BEST day in the year.”

The following is by one of my favorite authors, Arthur Unknown. This is from my heart to yours for your next New Year.


Enough happiness to keep you sweet,

Enough trials to keep you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

Enough hope to keep you happy;

Enough failure to keep you humble,

Enough success to keep you eager,

Enough friends to give you comfort,

Enough wealth to meet your needs;

Enough enthusiasm to look forward,

Enough faith to banish depression,

Enough determination to make

Each day better than yesterday.

It is all up to us and how we respond to what life gives us. There are things to be happy and grateful for and things we think we could do well without. But when time doesn’t exist for you, you give the future a chance to become meaningful and redirect you. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE BECAUSE IT IS TRUE. You make a difference.

Wow! I did not intend to capitalize the previous words. The letter A is next to the caps lock key but there are no A’s near the beginning or end of the capitals which might make it a coincidence if I hit them both. So I can’t find an excuse or explanation for it. When I took my eyes off the keyboard and looked up at the computer screen there they were while the other letters were normal size. Now that my friends is a sign from the Higher Power that created us and also created one man and woman to start life so none of us could claim our family was better than your family.

If you don’t want to believe what I am saying or find excuses or reasons that’s fine with me. You could say I was lying but I am not. However, I am impressed with the way that consciousness can speak to us in many mysterious ways. So open your mind, heart and life to what is possible and fulfill your potential. Believe in yourself and put all the negative destructive crap you are carrying into a sack and leave it by the side of the road you are traveling. You will feel the difference in your step and how much easier it is to stand up straight when you are not carrying all that crap on your back and you’ll be able to handle the hills too. God gave us mountains so we’d learn how to climb.

You can replace the sack with a back pack which you fill with the good memories and what nourishes your life and strengthens you. And don’t hesitate to share the good stuff with those in need to help them make it through their truly New Year and not repeat the same endless misery, distress, woundedness and victim’s life. Remember I love you all and happy to be your CD (Chosen Dad).

Now here are your answers: 1. I went into a restaurant and asked if they served crabs. The waiter said, “Why yes. We serve anybody here.” 2. What did the volcano say to the earthquake? It’s not my fault. 3. On what day of the year are more babies born? That’s obvious: Labor Day. 4. A dog is such a loveable creature because he wags his tail and not his tongue.

Peace, Love & Healing,

Bernie Siegel, MD

“Looking back, may I be filled with gratitude; Looking forward, may I be filled with hope; Looking upward, may I be aware of strength; Looking inward, may I find peace” — Ann Onymous.

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” — Helen Keller.

We currently have a mind, heart & health matters support group for those in need and for caregivers who need support the first Wednesday evening of every month and a cancer support group the second and fourth Tuesday evenings of the month at Coachman’s Square on Bradley Road, Woodbridge. If interested contact Lucille Ranciato lranciato@yahoo.com 203 288 2839; or myself bugsyssiegel@sbcglobal.net for details.