I\u2019m ashamed to admit this, but my family members insisted I had to be honest and let everyone know the ugly truth because if I didn\u2019t, they were threatening to take out a paid ad in this newspaper and tell you themselves. Even worse, they planned to pay for the ad with my money. To them it was a question of integrity and not misrepresenting who and what I really am. Or as my wife said, \u201cPeople should know what you\u2019re REALLY LIKE,\u201d which if I recall correctly was the same exact thing my mother used to say. So here goes: My daughter bought me a car. Wait, that didn\u2019t come out right. I don\u2019t mean that she BOUGHT me a car with her money; I mean she bought a car FOR me with my money, unfortunately. Everyone in my family was threatening legal action, legislative action and any other kind of action they could think of if I didn\u2019t get a new car, but I refused because I liked my old clunker. It was a Toyota, and I wanted to see if I could hit 150,000 miles just like my friend did. No such luck. The wheels were rusty so I put on a new set. Plus, I just got new brakes and new wipers and paid $500 for new tires, so the last thing I wanted to do was trade it in. I considered taking them off and storing them in my garage, but the dealer wouldn\u2019t take a trade-in without tires. Besides, my wife said there\u2019s already too much junk in the garage. My oldest daughter was driving me crazy about getting a new car, and I said no because there are only two things I absolutely hate to do. Buy a car and buy a mattress, which I recently did. I\u2019m still recovering from that experience, so I didn\u2019t want to accumulate any unnecessary stress in a year that has been fraught with stress and promises to get worse. I finally compromised and said, \u201cOK, you buy it and I\u2019ll pay for it.\u201d \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s not an answer.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s the best I can do.\u201d \u201cHow about a Cadillac Escalade?\u201d \u201cAre you insane? How about one of those tiny Fiat 500s?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d And so it went for three months while she did online car shopping. I\u2019d rather have an appointment with my gastroenterologist than spend time in car showrooms. Not that I have anything against the salespeople personally. My daughter went from driving me crazy to driving every car dealer in the tristate area and Canada crazy. Every evening, she gave me an update on her search and peppered me with questions: \u201cLeather interior?\u201d \u201cNo way.\u201d \u201cSunroof?\u201d \u201cAbsolutely not, I\u2019m bald and don\u2019t want sun beating down on my head.\u201d I wanted forest green. She said it was ugly so we compromised on dark gray. The truth is I don\u2019t think they wanted me to go to a car dealer because my last trip there 10 years ago went something like this: Me: \u201cWe\u2019ve been here five hours. Let\u2019s get the #%*@! out of here! Jump in the car!\u201d Wife: \u201cThis car only has three wheels!\u201d Me: \u201cDon\u2019t worry. We\u2019ll adapt. I got a great deal on it.\u201d You get the idea. Anyway, in all honesty, my daughter Joanna did a great job and got me a great deal on a great SUV \u2014 at least she has me convinced it\u2019s a great deal. One of the reasons I hate car shopping is they always insist I\u2019m getting the best deal in automotive history, but as soon as I sign the papers and I\u2019m driving home, I\u2019m certain I got suckered. This time I tried to get my wife and daughter to sign the papers so I could stay home, but they refused. I did NOT want to spend two hours signing papers about stuff that makes no sense to me. But I went anyway and I went by myself. Just between you and me \u2014 I love my new car! Joe Pisani can be reached at email@example.com.