Thanks in advance

I just won an election in my community and someone is hosting a “congratulations” party in my honor. What is the best way to thank her?

It’s very nice to send her flowers in advance of the party with a note that expresses your thanks, and says how much you are looking forward to the party. When you send them in advance, she can use them as part of her decorating. Otherwise, a decorative item, or something you know she would consider a personal keepsake, or a plant or flowers delivered after the party are nice ideas that express your thanks. And a follow-up thank-you note that refers to some of the highlights of the party and expresses your thanks is definitely in order. Congratulations!

My boss frequently sends emails with a long list of CC’s and I never know, when I respond, if I should copy everyone on the list, or just my boss. Is there a protocol for this?

The answer to your question depends on a number of factors. First, if a group is receiving an email there is nothing wrong with sending your comments to everyone, especially if a group decision or discussion is part of the process. However, if your boss is asking for comments or input from each of you, you most generally would reply only to her. You naturally would not respond to the group if your copy is a BCC, or blind “carbon copy” because you would have received the email for information purposes and the rest of the group would not know you had been copied, so a response from you would be out of context for them.

Our daughter is getting married next summer and a question has come up. Do we pay for the attire for all the attendants, including tuxedo rental fees for the groom’s attendants?

No, while the bride selects what her bridesmaids will wear, they pay for it themselves, just as the groom’s attendants pay their own rental fees if they are required to wear formal wear that they don’t already own. The attendants also pay their own transportation costs, but traditionally, the bride’s and groom’s families pay the hotel or lodging costs for their attendants, or arranges for them to stay with friends or family and not incur those costs to attend the wedding. This happens less often lately, but it is has been customary and often is an expectation.

How do we address a more-formal-than-casual invitation to a woman judge and her husband, who is an attorney?

You would address the envelope to The Honorable Ann Smith and Mr. John Smith, Esq. using both their first and last names. If the judge’s husband did not have a title to use, then you would address the envelope to the Honorable Ann and Mr. John Smith, not using her last name in the address. In either case, their names are written on one line.

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