I\u2019ve started keeping a new list. I call it my \u201cThings I Shouldn\u2019t Have Eaten Today\u201d list, and it\u2019s part of my strategic plan for a healthier lifestyle. (I also have a \u201cThings to Do\u201d list and a \u201cThings I Damn Better Do Because My Wife Says So\u201d list.)My first entry was a Reuben with corned beef, Swiss, sauerkraut and Russian dressing. Does it get any better, or worse, than that? It was followed by Pringles, frozen yogurt with chocolate chips (they were dark chocolate, which is good for you), and a handful of Mike and Ike candy. I didn\u2019t eat the whole box because I\u2019m trying to exercise self-restraint.The next day, my list included tacos garnished with sour cream, cheese and other savory but deadly toppings. Then, there was a pizza, but only half of it had pepperoni, which represented a valiant effort on my part.I\u2019m monitoring what I eat because my doctor told me to cut down on carbs. No pasta, no pizza, no rice, no potatoes, no nothing. It was a long list of prohibitions to reduce my triglycerides and prolong my life. But what kind of life is it without carbohydrates?My list is VERY CONFIDENTIAL. It\u2019s top secret and has the same level of confidentiality as an FBI memo about Donald Trump. If my family uncovers this classified information, I\u2019ll have to listen to them lecture me about my lack of self-control and how I need to go on the Keto diet or the Mediterranean diet and give up Mike and Ike for Lent, which is not going to happen.If my wife saw my list, she\u2019d turn it over to my doctor with the enthusiasm of Daniel Ellsberg delivering the Pentagon Papers to the New York Times. Or Stormy Daniels trying to sell her story to the National Enquirer.I keep this list hidden. It\u2019s my personal self-help training tool to transform me into a healthier person.Lists have always been useful in my self-improvement campaign. Since I started compiling a \u201cThings to Do\u201d list, my productivity increased 50%. And my \u201cThings I Am Grateful For\u201d list increased my positive attitude by 73%.My \u201cThings I Shouldn\u2019t Have Eaten Today\u201d list is supposed to help me control my diet. As they say in 12 step programs, \u201cAdmitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery.\u201dIn my defense, that Reuben was the first one I\u2019ve had in months. After I got my cholesterol test results, which were pretty good, I rewarded myself with some saturated fat and red meat. I suppose I went too far with the pepperoni pizza. On the other hand, a guy can eat only so much kale in one lifetime. Is there any other creature in the animal kingdom that eats kale? My dog won\u2019t touch it.Sticking to a healthy diet isn\u2019t easy. By the end of the day, I\u2019m overcome with cravings for saltwater taffy and cinnamon buns.I\u2019ve been trying to improve my diet ever since I saw a video with Dr. Oz, who said we can add years to our lives if we swear off things like Slim Jims and pork rinds. Who doesn\u2019t want a few extra years? If you\u2019re Larry King or Jane Fonda, you want a few extra decades.What perplexes me is everyone I know in their 80s and 90s lived a profligate life, at least by American Heart Association standards. They smoked. They ate steak and eggs for breakfast. They devoured Big Macs. They guzzled bottles of wine. And none of them kept a \u201cThings I Shouldn\u2019t Have Eaten Today\u201d list. If they did, they ignored it.Yesterday\u2019s list included a chili dog (actually two) and a Shamrock Shake from McDonald\u2019s. I got caught with the shake and all hell broke loose. I told my wife they only sell those shakes one month a year, and I didn\u2019t want to miss an opportunity to celebrate St. Patrick\u2019s Day. And I\u2019m not even Irish.Joe Pisani can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.